Never Have I Ever
by gleekyk
Summary: How will Barney respond when Ted says "Never have I ever cheated on anyone"?


A/N: hey guys, this is just a really short oneshot. But I got the idea, and I just couldn't resist writing it! It's set during season five after Barney and Robin's break up.

They're not sure who's idea it was, or how it started, but it ended with Barney, Lily, Marshall, Robin, and Ted sitting on the floor of the apartment, drinks in hand, playing "never have I ever."

"Okay, okay, I've got one." slurred Ted. "Never have I ever had sex in a bathroom."

Lily and Marshall shamefully sipped their beers. That didn't surprise anyone. They drank at nearly every weird sex thing.

"Never have I ever had a one night stand." Lily said proudly.

Ted, Robin, and Barney drank.

Barney's turn "Never have I ever finished a whole batch of cookies in one sitting."

"Uh, you've never had Lily's homemade chocolate chip cookies then." Marshall said, taking a drink.

Robin shrugged, finishing off her bottle. Marshall was right. Lily's cookies were really amazing.

"I'll get you another one." Marshall offered. It was funny that Marshall had to be the one to offer to get her another beer while Barney sat stupidly next to her. Of course, it wasn't Barney job to do nice things for her anymore. Why would he when he didn't get anything in exchange for it? That's how Barney works in relationships, isn't it? He does nice things knowing that later that night he'll be paid back.

"Thanks." She said to Marshall, who handed her a new drink.

"Your turn." Lily said to her in her chipper "I'm almost drunk, but not quite" voice.

"Okay, never have I ever used someone for sex."

Ted narrowed her eyes. "I can name five times off the top of my head that you've used me for sex."

She shrugged, opening her beer and taking a drink. "I guess I'm not very good at this game." she mumbled.

"I think everyone has at some point." Barney said. "I mean, lets be honest. Sex is awesome, and other things aren't."

Robin felt the sudden urge to cry. She knew that that was how he felt, but it didn't mean that she wanted to hear him say it, because it just confirmed her fears. She was only as good as the moments between the sheets. To him at least.

"Oookay." Ted said, sensing some kind of tension in the room. "Well, Never have I ever had sex at the circus.

"Damn it Ted!" Cried Lily, "You're targeting us!" Her and Marshall seemed oblivious to what was happening between Robin and Barney. Barney seemed even more oblivious than they were. That's how he had been during the whole break up though.

"Fine." She said. "Never have I ever told someone I loved them on the first date."

"Well that's just unfair! I'm the only one that would-"

"Be stupid enough to do that?" Marshall offered.

Robin knew that she should be laughing right now. They were mocking Ted. Everyone liked mocking Ted, but all she could think about was Barney, and how angry she was at him, and how much she felt like crying, but wasn't going to let herself because that would just be stupid.

"Never have I ever cheated on anyone." Marshall said proudly.

Barney laughed next her and took a long swig. "Is that even a question? I mean, I'm Barney Stinson. They Barnman. There's too many who want a piece of this to limit me to one."

"That's nice." Robin said venomously. "I'm sure all those girls really appreciate your infidelity."

"What's gotten into you?" Barney asked, surprised by her sudden lashing out.

"Did you ever think that maybe I don't want to hear about how much you cheated on me?"

"Robin…" He said. He was seeing her pain for the first time since they broke up. "Can I talk to you in the kitchen."

Of course he wanted to talk to her in the other room. He wasn't about to incriminate himself in front of all of their friends. This was it. She was about to find out just how little she meant to Barney Stinson.

Robin leant against the cold surface of the worktop, determined not to let her feelings show.

"Robin… do you really think that I cheated on you?"

"Did you not just admit it?" She said coldly, her arms crossed.

"No, that was just a joke. A stupid joke. I mean I've done some pretty awful things to girls, but not you."

"You never cheated on me?"

"Robin, I was with you every night." He pointed out. "And even if I wasn't. Nothing I would have found out there would have been able to compare to what I had at home."

"We had a lot of fights." She pointed out.

"I know." He said quietly. "But I could never really hurt you. You have to know that."

"I'm sorry, I've been acting kind of crazy, but I mean, all of those girls… They haven't exactly been easy to ignore. If I'm so great, why does it feel like you're making up for lost time?"

"Robin, getting over you is tricky business. Ask any guy that's ever been with you."

"I'm sorry." She said quietly. "I'm sorry that I've been so… weird."

"I'm sorry that I've been so inconsiderate." He said honestly. "And for the record, all the women, they're not working."

"I wish that we weren't so awful together."

He shrugged. "Maybe it's not us. Maybe it's the right people, just the wrong place and the wrong time."

She nodded. "I want to be friends again." She said.

He hugged her, promising that nothing would get in the way of their friendship.

There were a lot of things that Barney and Robin didn't know at this time. They didn't know that one day they would sleep together again, of course, it would happen when both had other people in their lives. They didn't know that one day they would want to be together again, and that she would break his heart when she couldn't do it. They didn't know that one day they would think that she was pregnant with his child, and both would have a small part of them that wasn't scared at all.

They didn't know that after all that they had been through, one day, they would live happily ever after together. It all depended on the right place and the right time.


End file.
